Sense and Sensibility-ness-ing-ly

...I can't be stuffed.

...I'm sooooo not motivated to do anything really... reviewing my life at the moment will only depress me more.

...if I do it will turn into a rant against IT recruiters and the shoddy disregard they show to job seekers who put actual effort into their resume and application, and then ignore them and refuse to return their phone calls.

...I'll only end up telling you how I put weight on when I went on my trip to Perth/Darwin where I worked my butt off for, it seems now, no real reason. I am struggling to lose this weight I have put back on, but am actually managing to get rid of a little.

..."My Kid's A Star" got shafted 30 min shows on Saturday at midday, and I only realised last Saturday and saw the second last one. At least I know for this Saturday to watch the final episode. I also remembered to tape the first "Flight of the Conchords" too - so at least now I have something to watch - thanks Channel 10 for FINALLY picking up something worthwhile to watch and subsequently burying it straight away. Could be worse... I could have become a fan of "Canal Road" which Channel 9 gave 2 weeks and then buried it so deep it's not even on the program. Ew.

...that's about all I can offer that is sensical and worth giving public voice to. Such is life...

I was putting Luke to bed and he was messing about so I said he had to have a good night's sleep as we had friends coming for lunch tomorrow.

He asked "What about daddy going to work?" and I said daddy would be here too, so he asked when would daddy go back to work.

"Daddy isn't working at that place anymore, he is going to get a different job, somewhere else".

Oh, thoughtful look. "So we can't go to the shops anymore" he said. Oh heck, how do I explain this to a 3 year old??? It wasn't exactly a question I had expected but clearly he understands that daddy goes to work so we can buy stuff.

"Yes, we can still go to the shops" I said.

And then, the ultimate statement "I will get a job so daddy doesn't have to work".

My precious sweet boy....I managed to hold back tears until I got out of there.

Just a quick one. Got 'dismissed' this morning, so I no longer work at the construction company I was working at. Not that long a story, but not one for here.

Will post more later, but just wanted to let you all know I'm looking for a job again... you know where to find me if you have any leads...

...and my parent is a horrible, vain mess, trying to live their fame through me.

I, like a few other Australians, watched this car accident of a television show on Wednesday night. I was transfixed - in awe, even. I knew of this myth of the stage parent but didn't believe it to be true. Oh. My. Goodness. It's true and then some.

The basic premise is simple, and a mirror of the same show from the US: 10 kids with some talent (term used very loosely) and their parents are boot camped into a house together for 10 weeks, to compete in a series of challenges that sees 1 team booted each week until we have a winner. Judged by "industry experts" - week 1 it was Max Markson (token Australian content), Marki Costello (loud, abrasive American know-all judge) and Danny Bonaduce (responsible for the series in the US), and hosted by a Daddo with a hint of a US accent. I think he was popular once.

The show in week one was brutal. BRUTAL. The girl that ended up getting kicked at the end had her to camera piece after her initial audition and was all devasated after being told all the vivid lycra and makeup was too much: "I didn't know that showbiz was a t-shirt and jeans, I thought it was all razzle... dazzle...". Ouch. It's really interesting watching how the parents and kids interact too... what is being fed them by their supposedly responsible parental figure. Week one showed us only one realistic parent who hesitated when the judges asked who thought their kid would win. This parent figured that her son didn't have everything the judges were looking for yet. All the other parents were straight in. The jugdes applauded the hesitant parent as being far more grounded than the others... and they all got their noses out of joint somewhat!

Our child stars have an amount of talent. Combined. Last time I checked 'cuteness' was not talent, although 'Agent to the stars' Costello mentioned at the end of token cute child's performance "I don't care what you're selling, I'm buying". Now you know where we're heading...

The kids are treating it like a big camp as best we can tell, with a weekly talent comp. The parents are already jockeying for positions, and starting to show who REALLY wants to be the star. It's so bad you cringe, but you cannot turn away. You seriously can't. Something else might go wrong, or someone else might say something despicable. sOmeone's kid might put in a performance they think is spectacular when it really is just shyte. It's the parents who face the judges when it comes to kicking out time, and they then have to walk into a room with all the kids to get/tell their child. When week one's kickee left, the older kids were all "the poor kid" and "I feel so sorry for her" and lots of tears. If nothing else, when it comes to their requirement to call on queue, they've all got that in spades. To one of the older kid's credit (a boy who must have younger siblings) he was concerned about how the younger kids reacted to the child leaving, and was more than supportive and comforting to them. Perhaps the real idea behind "My Kid's a Star" is to find the human child underneath all that costume and greasepaint. Perhaps it's to highlight that these kids are just that: kids. It's their parents who aren't letting them be JUST kids.

So... get behind 'My Kid's A Star', Australia. A program done so cheaply it doesn't even have its own interactive website. We have to see how everyone goes - we can't have it die after only two episodes (it's worth more than that)... MUST WATCH!

I was in the kitchen this morning and Luke decided to go in the study for something. He knows Lily is not allowed in there without mum or dad so he shut the door in her face. Her first two fingers of her left hand were SHUT in the hinged side.

I moved fast but twenty seconds is a long time when your baby is screaming.

At first I thought they were cut off because they were white and squashed but then the blood flowed. Amongst all the screaming (from her) and tears (from all three of us) I was able to determine that they are just badly bruised between the knuckles. Very swollen and with blood blisters and torn skin. She can use them but it clearly hurts because whenever she goes to grab something, she holds up her hand and cries.

She wouldn't eat much brekky but had a feed and fell asleep - a bit early for her nap but I think it's the best thing for her after the shock.

Luke has been very quiet ever since.

On Easter Monday, I got to do something with Luke that I have always dreamed about sharing with my kids.

We went to the movies together.

Not all of us – just Luke and Daddy. I stupidly weird how proud I was to be walking into the cinema with him. We waited (and waited!) in line to get our tickets for ‘Horton Hears A Who’, we marched up the stairs towards our cinema – wisely stopping for a toilet break first – and then Luke handed our tickets to the cinema person and in we went.

I expected the cinema to be packed and it wasn’t, so we got to pick our seat which was good. We settled down to watch the film and enjoy. He was most impressed that the lights went down!

To preface this, he has sat down and watched animated movies on TV at home (that shows some stamina in itself with all those ads), however I suspect that the aforementioned ads are what allow him to get through – he can get up, walk around, do ‘stuff’ in the ad breaks and then settle back down for the movie when it is back on. He can also walk around during it and pick up a toy, annoy his sister, whatever. When it comes to the cinema there’s none of that, and he still handled it pretty well. His eyes were wide many times, I think just due to the enormity of the screen (well, compared to a 2 year old anyway). A scene when the vulture is trying to capture the clover that has the Whoville speck on it scared him a little (the vulture pops out of nowhere) – it made him physically jump – but he recovered fine. We talked a little about the movie as we were going to help him process everything (‘Elephant is sad’; They (the Whos) are funny’; ‘He (JoJo) not talking’; etc). Helped me keep up with the plot, anyway…

There was some standing up moments, some sitting down moments, some stretching out across the next chair moments, but I never once had to tell him to stop messing around. He was pretty transfixed by the film – it is very entertaining and one worth getting on DVD to watch again later. A lot of fun with something in it for all ages.

He enjoyed a drink pre-prepared by Mum, as well as some special lollies we snuck in (stupid ‘no outside food’ rules) which Daddy spaced out over the course of the film. Once we were done, we stopped off for another toilet break on the way out and went off to meet Mummy and Lily for lunch.

It was a fun time. I know he didn’t enjoy the movie like I did, but then I am hoping we get the chance to enjoy many, many more movies together. He was such a treat to take out, and while I do not expect him to remember it when he is 21, I sure will… one of those ‘my little boy is growing up’ moments, all wrapped up in a ‘this is exactly how I dreamed this experience would be – how fun sharing my passion for movies with my son’ vibe.

…but I digress… ;)

It's well overdue, so I won't bore you (this is from my visit 28/03/08)...

STATS TIME
Previous time's weight - 126.5kg
Weight - 125.6kg
Result for the week - 0.9kg loss

Total loss to date - 47.0kg | Original weight - 172.6kg

More to hand as I am able to tell... no weigh in last week as I was away, and when I stepped on the scales last Saturday morning when I got home I nearly fainted. LOTS of work to do this week (and the mornings aren't getting any warmer...).

For our Melbourne mums.

Mum's Night Out! for anyone who is a Mum, is about to be a Mum, wants to be a Mum, or plays the role of a Mum (whatever the age of your kids - or you for that matter!) and is aimed at providing a safe, fun and entertaining Night Out.

Currently held in Melbourne, and soon to be expanding to Brisbane and Sydney (just before we take over the nation), Mums' Night Out! hosts an annual ball and a number of fundraising dinners and events throughout the year.

Mums' Night Out! also plays host to the Real Mum of the Year Awards, where each year a "normal" Mum is presented with an Award - just for being a Mum.

Go here for more info.

I knew I was gonna go up this week - Easter eggs, Thai and Fish and Chips are not conducive to weight loss...

STATS TIME
Previous time's weight - 125.7kg
Weight - 126.5kg
Result for the week - 0.8kg gain

10 weeks to go, and the comfort level regarding the end is decreasing rapidly. Not because I'm not happy to be this far progressed at the end of the program for me, but more the change to routine that I've now well settled into. Such is life. 

STATS TIME
Previous time's weight - 128.3kg
Weight - 125.7kg
Result for the week - 2.6kg loss

Total loss to date - 46.9kg | Original weight - 172.6kg

OK, now we're getting somewhere. It was a difficult week somewhat as I've been busy to walking at 4:30am to ensure that happens as well as gettting my now 30 situps and pushups done, however this means that lunch is occasionally forgotten until later in the afternoon. Plus there was a couple of days where I let the stress get to me a little too much and I found the fridge in the HelpDesk room that contains chocolate too often. I've since barred myself from the HelpDesk fridge.

The good thing is that I was aiming for 120kg by the end of the program (10 weeks away), and realistically if I continue to apply myself then I should be aiming for something more like 115kg. We'll see. As long as I have a good week this week (and it's a Thursday weigh in due to Good Friday) then I should tip over the 125kg personal goal mark, and that gives me Easter weekend to do a vLog (even though I am working, but that's a whole other blog entry). Woo hoo! Importantly even though I'm not seeing it in myself, I am feeling a lot healthier and if it's even possible I'm feeling lighter. A lot of day to day things like hills/stairs aren't the problem they used to be. I'm much more motivated to exercise than ever, and will take 'walking' option as opposed to the lazier one in most situations. I'm actually more aware of my weight loss right now because my work pants need to be taken in (I think again) and my work belt needs some more new holes... or maybe a new belt is in order. I still have to hold out from buying any/too many new clothes at the moment as I intend to make this whole process continue down to my ultimate goal weight of 92kg. That's still a fair way away, but a lot closer than it used to be.

I am trying hard not to think about all the chocolate so prevalent at Easter. I'm considering it to be my achilles heel. I can have a little, so I should have 1 Cadbury Creme Egg... but just one...

BTW, Michelle went shopping and found some 'replacement' replacement bars that I have tried and liked, and how have clearance from my dietician (Ben) to used them in place of the now extinct OptiFast choclate bars. Yay... could only handle so much of the peanut butter bars. The additional benefit is that I can stay on them once I finish the program with Wesley and continue to lose weight as long as everything else stays in order. I've found a new dealer.  ;)